I learned years ago that having a script does not work when visiting with family. I can plan this and plan that, but all I will do is stress myself out. Worse yet, I could end up causing hard feelings because I’m unhappy that things didn’t go the way I thought they should.
My sister and I learned this years ago when the children were small. We made our plans loosely, knowing that anything could derail them from a lack of sleep to someone’s upset tummy to bad weather. We didn’t usually announce the script to the children until shortly before we were ready leave. That way, plans could be changed without tears.
This lesson was reinforced when I took precious vacation days off work to spend time with my daughter when she was little. I’d take her to the museums, the parks, and to visit family. I learned to go without expectation of what would happen on that day.
We’d go to the museum and she’d play with the sand instead of playing with the dinosaurs. When we went to the park, she didn’t play on the swings or the slide, but went swishing through the leaves for hours. We had leaves at home, but not such nice swings or slide. I either enjoyed her whatever she was doing or I could make it a miserable time by insisting that she do what I thought she should do. After a round of tears on both our part, I let go of my pre-conceived script.
And so the pattern repeats as I visit her here in Atlanta. We’re both working, which limits our time and energy. She took yesterday off work (as did I), but by the time we slept late, did some chores, and ate breakfast it was getting towards afternoon. Instead of going into downtown, I opted for going to the mall. Neither she or I shop much, so it is in fact a treat to go there together.
We had a great time! We looked at jewelry, she got some clothes, I bought some tea after doing some tasting. The yummiest was getting a truffle each when we went past Godiva.
It’s been a good visit. We’ve had plenty of time to chat, play Scrabble, and take care of her house. I’m glad I didn’t make plans to do other things.
Here’s a picture of my one-year-old child, when I let her play with the marigolds instead of doing something else I would have found more fun.
Word for tomorrow – BROWSE. If you prefer to work ahead, see the list for the week under “A Word A Day”.
A Daily Life 
August 11, 2011 at 11:17 am
For some it comes so naturally not to script, the rest of us must learn to enjoy the flow. :)
August 12, 2011 at 10:17 pm
You are so right – that’s why I wrote about it. It was a hard lesson for me.
August 11, 2011 at 1:39 pm
Good post. This is something I’ve struggled with throughout my life. I think I am finally learning. It cuts down on disappointments. My son told me recently, instead of going with a picture in your mind of how things will be, go with a blank canvas and enjoy watching the painting develop.
August 15, 2011 at 11:44 pm
It really is a hard lesson – we have so much we want to do with our lives that it’s hard to slow down and enjoy it when it doesn’t meet our expectations.
August 11, 2011 at 2:28 pm
I, too, must learn to go with…and accept the blank canvas concept. It has now taken me about a month to accept the fact…that life has painted me a different picture over the past couple of months and I again…have to kind of abort a 365 day project. But…Atleast i made it through 6 months this time. Oh, I haven’t abandoned the photography. No way. That would be totally giving up on ‘ME’ which some days I come close to but then life becomes a dark, blank canvas with no painting at all. I am attempting to catch up on the months of pics that need to be gone through and shared. They will slowly be posted to my everyday blog/website. I love your posts. I plan on keeping in touch.
August 15, 2011 at 11:53 pm
Thanks for the note. I was going to write you when I got back and see if you were okay. I agree – don’t give up on yourself – but do work with the changes whether welcome or not. You can do this, even if it is overwhelming at times. If you keep taking the photos, you can always edit at some undefined time in the future.
August 11, 2011 at 4:20 pm
I think I only learned within the last 5 years or so…to go with the flow. Close girlfriends and I agree that we moms like to control things…fix things. I can’t say I’ve let go of these attributes completely, but for health reasons I try very hard to do just that. My life is not getting longer…so the years I’ve left I’ve decided I need to enjoy. I’ve got to spend more of my precious time left…living my own life, and not others, including my husband’s and daughter’s. They’ll have to take care of the little things…themselves. I think they’ve accepted that. Now I need to do the same.
all this to say…you’re right…scripting is…out… :)
August 15, 2011 at 11:46 pm
That’s a good perspective – it is because we’re trying to control things and fix everything. It is much more enjoyable though to be able to let go and enjoy the moment. Thanks for stopping by!
August 16, 2011 at 12:19 pm
always a pleasure, nancy… :)